The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

First, the Good.  The colonoscopy went well according to the doctor.  The procedure lasted at least 35 minutes (I really don’t know the length of time, but from the color photo still shots taken by the video camera, plus the video images on DVD, I can tell it was at least 35 minutes in length.)  The doctor did find some polyps and removed them.  Oh and the whole procedure and clinic cost came to about $325 (USD).  Can’t beat that!

The Bad & the Ugly are worth lumping together to get them over with.  The nurse who prepped me had trouble putting the IV needle in my hand.  She was going to put it in my left hand, but I told her I was left-handed.  Actually, I told her I was deaf because I couldn’t remember the Spanish word for “left-handed.”  So, I did the logical thing and told her I was deaf since I knew that word was close and at least she might stop to figure it out.  She did, and I did get it across and she gave me the word I was looking for.  I forgot it already.  Give me a break, it was not a good morning, OK?

Next, she proceded to stick my right hand but couldn’t figure out why the needle wasn’t going into the vein.  It sure felt like bone to me.  It hurt.  She pulled it out.  Something broke.  She got another one and went to the left-hand.  Guess I didn’t need that word after all.  She couldn’t get the needle in the vein.  She tried twirling it around in my hand but it just wouldn’t draw blood.  Maybe I’m a vampire or something.  I’ve never been able to nick my hand and not draw blood before, let alone stick a sharp object into my hand and grind it a bit and still not draw blood.  Finally, she left it dangling, muttered something about “this has never happened before” and called for someone whom I took to be her supervisor.  She must have been because in about a minute of searching with that needle, she managed to get some blood flowing.  Whew!  Not a vampire after all!

Aside from the bruised hands, it wasn’t too bad.  Except, I woke up in the middle of the thing and while I barely remember it, I guess it hurt pretty badly.  I do remember that I was pretty groggy and thought it was cool that I was facing a TV screen with a view of my insides on live TV.  Did you see it on cable where you were yesterday?  Maybe it was just on local TV here.  I’m not sure.  Before I could ask, I was out again.  Beth and our co-worker Brock, heard me from the waiting area a few rooms away but thought it couldn’t have been me.  Not until I told them about it later did they realize that it was.  They were impressed.  I did finally wake up for good a couple hours later but was doped up enough to need a few more hours of sleep, which I decided to forego because I didn’t want to sleep in a deserted clinic recovery room.  Just so you’ll know because I’m sure you’ll ask, I have never thrown up bile before, but now I can say from experience, “Yup, been there, done that.”  I slept hard for a couple more hours when we got home.

The doctor didn’t record for us how many polyps he cut out, but the Spanish word on the report was plural and I think in our 30 seconds with him just before we left the clinic, he may have said “several.”  Some of which he sent in for biopsies.  We return in a week to find out if these will be a problem or not.  I don’t know what all the options are at this point, but if they’re “good” polyps, then I’m guessing I won’t be needing more doctor visits.  If any of them are “bad” polyps, I’ll probably need to go back in and see how many IV needles I can break with my bare hands.  My record is only one so I think I’ve got a good shot at it.

I am still very sore pretty much from the bottom of the rib cage down.  I can walk, sit, lie down, and stand without feeling sick but am experiencing pain in all of those positions.  I’ve discovered it’s best not to do any one of them for very long.

Maybe I can upload the video for anyone who would really like to see it!  Ha-ha…I don’t know about that, but I suppose for a science student, I might do it!  Hey, education never ends…even when knowledge has reached the end!  (*ahem*)

Not really thinking about the results of the biopsies but it seems worth asking for your prayers.  Would be great to have a negative reading on those things.  Wouldn’t mind asking prayer for a recovery from the internal wounds which hurt, and for Beth’s knee which she injured while kicking a ball on Sunday.  She actually injured her knee while NOT kicking a ball on Sunday because she missed the ball completely.  That probably will do it.  She wants to see an ortho doctor tomorrow if it isn’t feeling much better than it has been today.  I keep telling myself that these things are all normal for people in their 80s…and for us!  I guess our bodies are just ahead of our time.

Needless to say, we have been a miserable pair today, but still managed to get laundry done (I didn’t help), the boys ate (I didn’t help with that either), and homeschool was done (I did my part on that one).  Beth’s mom helped with the food and laundry, and Cameron was a big help too.  After over 2 days stuck in the house or in the clinic, I was anxious to get out of the house.  I drove over to SAMs and made a slow trip around the store and picked up a few bargains.  I came home with a whimper but glad to have at least completed something today.  Sometimes you just have to make a gut call.  And oh did it ever.

I guess this means I’ll need to revisit this topic at least once more and let you know how the biopsies turn out.  I’ll let you know what those are next week if we have the results then.  Until then, be sure to not let your mom see this photo:

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One Response to The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

  1. Oof. We will pray for healing and good results. I guess now you have a neat story? Is that any consolation? When did everyone get so old?

    Like

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